MOLLY:
I heard that Saudi women are not going to be allowed to go to Mecca. Where will they go instead?
DOLLOP:
The Saudi men did not realize that the women cared so much about this. They were just thinking about how crowded it was getting in Mecca, the most holy place of the Muslim world, and how you could not see the white marble for all the black-tented women all over the place.
The Saudis already ban women from driving, and make sure that a male guardian takes them to school, to any job, to travel, or to stay in a hotel. This is meant to protect women from the rampant, raging lust of Saudi men which is uncontrollable except by another man. Pills have not worked.
Because the men are thinking about women ALL OF THE TIME, the first thing they thought of when Mecca got crowded was: “Women!” They really wish all of the women were VIRGINS IN HEAVEN and that they would stay there.
Well, the women got a divorce and they are moving out, en masse. (That means big batches.) They said: “We’ve had it with your lust! And the virgin thing! Go ____ yourselves!” Well, as it turns out, that is exactly what the men were doing but I will not elaborate. That’s why they really had not bonded with the women very well.
The women are using family fortunes to buy up islands in the South Seas, where you don’t have to do much to eat, and you certainly don’t have to drive around shopping because you don’t really need a bunch of clothes. They are taking the yachts and the household goods with them. And the jets. They plan to keep going to Europe for the nightlife and shopping, and occasional spa visits. Of course they can afford to import delicacies such as baby quail, truffles, French pastries, and fine wine.
They are also taking the eunuchs who tend the harem with them too. Do you know what eunuchs are? They are men who have had the lust taken out of them. It is a special thing, and makes them very helpful to women. Plus they are not too happy with the other men after this special ceremony either, so they are looking forward to the trip to the South Seas too.
This means it has taken Islam 1400 years to finally arrive at the perfect society, where living women have been eliminated. A lot of imams are really thrilled about this historical milestone. The topic of women was taking up ALL THEIR LECTURES and it was like a finger in the Dike Holding Back Lust.
Now a few men are saying: “Hey, wait a minute. Who’s going to cook?” But then they remembered that they can get poor people (men) from other countries like China or South America to come and be their bitches.
You might ask, what about the babies? Well the girl babies are all leaving, and the boy babies are not so sure about being burped by male bitches. The Saudi officials have realized that there will be no more babies, after the women leave, so the problem really goes away, just like the crowding in Mecca.
They have not thought through one serious impact: no more babies means no more people, eventually. The perfect Islamic society in history will last only as long as the youngest men stay alive.
The women, meanwhile, are thinking of importing egalitarian Scandinavians to their South Sea paradise to keep them company. They are thinking about a new religion too, since the Koran has been such a pain for them. It really is a brave new world. Then future generations might repopulate Saudi Arabia bringing back a different “civilization.” This new civilization will surely include a lot of tan surfers, male and female, though, looking very much like California, so they may need to make up some new rules.
South Sea Islanders are very glad to see their economy get a boost from all the independent wealth coming in, not to mention pale women jumping in the surf to enjoy their new freedom, some of them forgetting about any clothes at all after those black tents they used to wear. And the virginity thing too.
